Broken wrist

On Sunday i slipped on my bike going round a wet corner. The back slid out from under me on the wet tarmac but i braked and corrected and not a second later the back wheel slid out again and i went down. I fell on the right wrist. Lying there with the traffic backing up i looked at mt left hand and thought that looked ok and then at my right and the whole wrist had just popped up. It looked aweful. The first thing I felt was just anger.

Ive been training for the Brighton triathlon now for probably 4 months and had 3 weeks to go. And for the last 2 months thats been on average 5 times a week.

The pain only really hit in the hospital and between getting the Synthetic morphine and it actually working i was making noises like a growling dog. One part of me was like HST in Fear and loathing, where he can he see himself acting like a mad man on an ether binge but there’s mothing he can do about it.

Once it hit they had 2 doctors pulling and twisting my wrist back into shape. After that it was into theatre where they get these drugs that apparantly give you retrograde amnesia which is such a wierd thing to get your head around. All very Matrix. The doctor came into my ward a couple of hours after and asked, with this smile on his face, did i remember what he told me. And i had to tell him i didnt even see him! So i imagine we had this converation in the theatre where he’s telling me i wont remember any of this and me not believing him.

Hospital for one night was aweful. Full of old insane woman. And some guy who had thrown himself out a window. One old woman kept waking up every half hour and yellling out “Bed pan, nurse! I need to go” and then banging on the side of her bed with a cup because they had taken her buzzer away. It felt like prison.
So it’s all really irritating but 6 weeks it should be ok, and hell, it could have been much worse.  A couple of people have told me about people they know or have seen knocked off their bikes and get broken necks.  Could be a lot worse.


3 mil cocktail dress

I called this triathlon shop this morning trying to hire a wetsuit for the triathlon season.  This woman asks me for my measurements: weight, height, chest size.  Chest Size?  “Yes, what size suit jacket do you wear”. 

“I have no idea”. 

She needs my chest size, so I promise to measure it over the weekend.  She tells me not to puff out my chest. No posturing.  “Ok”.  I tell her what she really needs is a gut size, but she disagrees. 

“Wetsuits are great for sucking in the gut”, she tells me – and this is true, that its good to wear a wetsuit under a dress, works like a corset.

Keeps everything in place. 

I wont be able to look at a woman in a cocktail dress in the same way again.